The Buddha was (is) here

Click here to see the web site for
The Vajrapani Institute for Wisdom Culture, which is close to my hometown of Santa Cruz.


The Vajrapani Institute for Wisdom Culture is a member of The Foundation for the Preservation of Mahayana Tradition, which is is an international, non-profit organization, founded in 1975 by Lama Thubten Yeshe (1935-84), a Tibetan Buddhist monk. The Foundation is devoted to the transmission of the Mahayana Buddhist tradition and values worldwide through teaching, meditation, and community service.

Surf City Santa Cruz

My take on the dynamics of alcoholism/addiction

Hi! I just wrote what follows in a letter to a friend of mine. To save time, I typed in all lower caps.

This represents 20 years of my meditation on alcoholism/addiction. This letter reflects my thoughts. Others will agree and disagree. Take what you like and leave the rest. :^)


alcoholism is a scientifically established disease. i will try to explain a few of its features:

* when an alcoholic has alcohol in his body, he loses all connections to everyone else. to the practicing alcoholic, their number one priority is getting drunk, and once that drunk is over, getting loaded again and again. once the alcohol is in the alcoholic, he withdraws, and disconnects from others and non-drinking experiences. his primary purpose is to become intoxicated; everything and everyone else revolve around his need to drink and his ability to do so, uninterrupted.

* it's essential to know, however: the behaviors of an alcoholic have their basis in the neurological "hardwiring" of the alcoholic's brain.

* the biological dynamics of alcoholism can be understood through science's discoveries of the evolutionary development of the brain -- or the brain's roots, if you will.

* the most primitive parts of the brain go back so far in evolution as to be pre-cognitive. they are practically reptilian. this ancient, pre-civilized part of the brain emerged first; later the cognitive lobes evolved into being.

* the first developed parts of the human brain have more power over the brain as a whole, than the parts that developed later. this is true in every human brain.

* the most evolutionary primitive parts of the brain are also recognized as the brain's "pleasure centers." they control the production and regulation of "pleasurable" biochemicals such as dopamine and serotonin. it is here that all human emotions first emerge.

* the neurology of the alcoholic/addict is hyper-sensitive: even to the brain's simplest neurochemical functioning. this is one of the features that differentiate the biology of the alcoholic from that of a non-alcoholic. the alcoholic's neurochemical stability is always in a state of potential imbalance. often, the alcoholic's body -- i.e., his primitive brain/pleasure centers -- do not produce enough neurotransmitters, or do not sufficiently regulate them. a common result is that the alcoholic does not feel mentally stable enough to live without some sort of quick external intervention.

* in the beginning, the body's pleasure centers equate the presence of alcohol in the body with physiological pleasure and give feedback to the body that it is experiencing pleasure. the alcoholic therefore drinks and enjoys the experience. he may not consciously realize that he "self-medicating" with liquor in order to feel mentally, emotionally and dispositionally even.

* this neurochemically-imbalanced, conditioned stimulus and response creates an overexcited mind-behavior feedback loop that propels the alcoholic's future drinking. this feedback loops reinforces the alcoholic's drinking even when toxic symptoms of the drinking begin to appear, such as hangovers, changes of personality and "blackouts."

* the primitive regions of the brain, driven by a neurologic disharmony due to the alcoholic brain's functioning, fixate this destructive behavior in the alcoholic. because the primitive brain overrules the cognitive components of the brain that developed after it, it is at this point that the alcoholic may have "crossed over the line" that requires his drinking without his conscious consent.

* these primitive parts of the brain are pre-cognitive. they determine the alcoholic's behavior without needing to route the decision-making through the brain's cognitive functions. the conscious mind of the alcoholic does not decide whether the alcoholic will drink. under the active influence of alcohol, the alcohol does not have the choice but to drink.

* this pre-cognitive mechanism in the neuro-dysfunctional brain of an actively-drinking alcoholic illustrates why alcoholics get drunk even when they are rationally trying to consciously control their drinking. this is why appeals to the alcoholic's reasoning, emotions or values do not make any dent in the alcoholic's inebriation.

* most alcoholics are depressives; that is, they suffer from depression of a medical nature. try as he may, the alcoholic cannot bring himself out of depression with alcohol or the other drugs that the alcoholic abuses. nevertheless, the alcoholic will try to quash his depression with sedatives (e.g., alcohol), or a combination of sedatives and stimulants.

* the alcoholic may try a variety of different stimulants in combination with alcohol to strike the "right (artificial) balance." these stimulants can be any of the following: cocaine, speed, crack, methamphetamine, and so on. the alcoholic may try to elevate his depression with the use of stimulating behaviors, such as: negative excitement, anger, codependent "drama," compulsive or obsessive sex with a partner, anonymous or casual sex, gambling, argumentation, and so on. the active alcoholic, caught in the grips of neurochemical havoc, will go to any (ultimately self-defeating) lengths to try to restore a semblance of peace to his insane thinking.

* try as he might, eventually the destructive behaviors the alcoholic lavishes upon himself and others catch up to him in the shape of almost every possible negative thing that could happen to a person. this compounds the neurological imperative to seek what has now become oblivion through drink.

* science is also discovering evidence that alcoholism and other addictions have specific genetic roots. scientists are very close to locating the genes that will lead to alcoholism in an individual. not surprisingly, the combination of these particular "alcoholic" genes are similar to the combination of genes that lead to depression.

* it's not clear why some people with the alcoholic gene will drink alcoholically (or act out addictedly), while some people with the same genes won't. the differences are probably based on psychological and sociological factors that bring out the particular expressions of each alcoholic. some alcoholics do not drink alcoholically until they are in the right environment, such as high school, college or work. some alcoholics, such as myself, are born with such a severe neurochemical imbalance that we gravitate to, even actively search out "fixes" such as alcohol from a young age. [i was a blackout drinker from the beginning of my drinking. i was 13.]

* the time-tested programs of Alcoholics Anonymous (meant for the alcoholic) and Al-Anon (meant for people close to an alcoholic) stand by their experience: no one can diagnose whether a person is actually alcoholic except that person. in my opinion, the alcoholic must come to an innermost realization within himself that he has no power whatsoever over his drinking. ultimately, in order to recover from alcoholism, the alcoholic must make his own diagnosis, and then determine if he wants treatment for his disease. i/we/you/they may be sure that a person is an alcoholic, but it's likely that my/your/our/their opinions will not change the alcoholic's distorted perceptions of himself.


the impact of alcoholism on the lives of others

* alcoholism, in addition to being a biological/neurological disease, is also a mental disease.

* when alcohol is in the body of an alcoholic, he is completely under the control of an imbalance that has set off a craving/neurochemical imperative in his body. over this craving, he has absolutely no physical or mental control. the presence of alcohol in the body of an alcoholic also sets off an obsession in his mind, bringing him back to thinking over and over about drinking and getting loaded. this obsession preempts all of the alcoholic's perceptions.

* alcoholism is a disease of perception and denial. over all evidence to the contrary, the alcoholic will rearrange all his perceptions of reality in order so that he can drink as he is compelled to drink. this includes denial of his alcoholism. this includes trying to manipulate and control everyone around the alcoholic so that he is successfully able to blame his drinking on his perceived problems of others. alcoholics are great at creating drama in order to try to distract others from mirroring to him that he is an alcoholic.

* the compelling power of an alcoholic -- doing all that he can to also distort the thinking of others, so that they will be confused as to the fact of his alcoholism -- inevitably harms the perceptions, thinking and feeling of those closest to him.

* the alcoholic can make everyone around him feel like they are crazy and that he is the only sane one among them. one day he admits to his friends or family that he is somehow responsible for his "bad luck." the next day he categorically denies any responsibility for his problems and denounces his friends as traitors for implying he has a problem with drugs or alcohol.

* i can only describe the power of the pathology that the alcoholic inflicts upon others as malevolent. at the same time, the alcoholic is in the grip of a disease that is beyond his reason to control, muchless "manage," as try he might. so what can be done?

* no one, including the loved ones of an alcoholic, can work out his addiction for him. i/we/you/them cannot love him enough, guilt him enough, clean up after him enough, beg him enough, threaten him enough in order to get him to stop drinking. this is never my/your/our/their fault.

* no practicing alcoholic will ever take responsibility for his drinking, unless he is placed in physical, mental, emotional and spiritual circumstances that are completely beyond his ability to control. [and that is just the beginning of recovery.]

* the alcoholic must be made to reckon with the consequences of his drinking, with or without the helpful hand of others. often, the alcoholic will lean on the support of others, while in actuality never taking the meaningful steps forward to his sobriety. that is why the friends of an alcoholic must learn to detach from him -- spiritually, mentally, emotionally and even physically -- for his good. BUT MORE IMPORTANT, FOR THEIR OWN GOOD!

Today is the Buddha's Birthday

"Non-Buddhists often ask whether or not Buddhists worship images. The images we pay homage to are only representations of one to whom we pay respect in gratitude because he, through his own efforts and wisdom, discovered the way to real peace and made it known to all beings. The offerings we make are but symbols of our reverence for the Buddha and are a means of concentrating our minds on the significance of the words we are reciting. Just as people love to see a portrait of one dear to them when separated by death or distance, so do we Buddhists love to have before us a representation of our teacher, because this representation enables us to think of his virtues, his love and compassion for all beings, and the doctrine he taught."

-- origination of quote unknown



HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUDDHA!

The Nature of Mind

ON FINDING YOURSELF IN THE NATURE OF MIND

– an edited excerpt from oral teachings given by Geshe Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche, Winter 2002

In order to directly experience the nature of mind, during dzogchen practice we try to create certain conditions within the body, speech and mind. We use postures or movements of the physical body, practices of the breath, and the concentration and focus of awareness of the mind.

It is not as if the nature of mind is a separate object, a separate place where you as a subject can take a bus, train or a plane to. It is not like that - there is no place to go, no place to search for the nature of mind. Nor is the nature of mind a form with a particular shape or color that you can experience. If you are searching for your nature in those ways, you will not find anything. That is guaranteed. We are so conditioned to always be expecting to see some THING. It is very, very difficult for us to rid ourselves of the mind of ours that has expectations.

If you go out to find a job, you go with the expectation of finding one that pays well, say. That expectation helps guide your search toward finding the right job for you. In looking for the nature of mind, though, it makes no sense to look with the expectation that you will see something, because there is nothing to see.

Now you may be thinking, "There's nothing to see? Well, that's a little discouraging." Maybe you are curious about what this means. You are beginning to realize that you cannot experience the nature of mind in the same way you can experience your dreams, your thoughts, your feelings, or any kind of form. The nature of mind will not be seen in any of those ways. It is possible that during meditation, sometimes you will see various colors or shapes that are signs or qualities of some experience of, or connection to, the nature of mind, but even these are not the nature of mind.

The introduction to the nature of mind is essentially about creating the right causes and conditions - that's really what it is. In the same way that by placing a mirror in different locations you find that your view changes, so too by putting your body in the right position, your breath in the right position, and your mind in the right position, you are able to simply find your self in that place. But when you find your self in that place, it is not that you are seeing something, it is only that you are being. The moment you think that you are seeing your nature, you are actually not. You see, one of the subtlest obstacles to resting in the nature of mind is not being able to get rid of the seer, the one who sees. Until you get rid of the observer, the perceiver, the subject, the nature remains hidden.

So, you don't create or force the experience of the nature of mind; rather, you can put the proper conditions together for finding your self there. It would be a good idea to look at all that we experience in our lives in that same way - understanding that we can't always achieve the results we want by forcing them, but we can instead try to set up the proper conditions for those results to arise naturally. Often we ignore the advantages of setting up the proper conditions and just struggle to force the result into manifestation.

For example, you want to be happy. So what do you do sometimes? You just try to force yourself to be happy, even though in a relative sense you are simply in the wrong place to support being happy. Let's say you are somebody who has a knack for electronics, who is fascinated working all day long on computers and has so much knowledge about how they work, and yet you may not be able to cook even a cup of tea for yourself. Now, if you were put into the position of being a chef at a restaurant, then that would definitely be the wrong place for you to be happy. So, you don't realize you are in the wrong place, the wrong time, the wrong situation, and all you know is that you want to be happy. The location makes you suffer, the situation makes you suffer, the timing makes you suffer, and yet you simply push yourself to be happy. You just cook furiously, and the customers continually are dissatisfied, and eventually the restaurant has to go out of business. That forcing of the situation would obviously be the wrong approach. What should you do instead? Focus your effort on changing the place, changing the timing, changing the circumstances to make them the right ones for being happy. If you do find the right conditions, then you'll be naturally happy. You create the causes for natural happiness rather than futilely struggling to force the result.

Many times in our lives we get stuck simply because we don't know we are trying to force a result that is not supported by our circumstances. We may only be repeating to ourselves, "I want to be happy, I want to be happy, I want to be happy." The added tension created by trying to force your happiness actually tends to worsen your situation. It actually creates the opposite effect, digging you deeper into that unfortunate situation. Do you see how that kind of narrow, result-oriented focus can be a kind of a secret obstacle for us at times?

This is especially true regarding the practices of the nature of mind. So, what is the introduction to the nature of mind? You understand that it is not the same as my saying "Look at this cup" (Rinpoche holds up a teacup). Rather, there are exercises, practices and techniques that all create a space where there is a greater chance to have experience. None of those techniques you learn are the nature of mind. None of those practices are the nature of mind. They are a very skillful means. In one important sense the only time you will have an experience of the nature of mind is when you are not practicing. But you must begin with the practice and then during the session you forget the practice. How can you forget the practice? When you come to the place where there is nothing at all you could call effort, that is the moment when you find yourself in the nature of mind: free from your thoughts, feelings, emotions and conditions, abiding in the space of infinite potential, in which there is a cause for the perfection of every experience that could arise. There is a sense of nothing lacking, because everything is perfected. The sense of longing, lacking, missing, not having enough - none of those experiences are there. On the contrary, there is the sense of being complete, perfected, whole; and you find your self.

So, regarding the introduction to the nature of mind, the important point here is not to get too attached to the techniques or methods, but to work with them so you can create the right position of the body, the right breathing, the right focus of the mind. If you are able to bring together the right conditions of body, energy and mind, then there is no way not to experience your nature. As we always say, there is no power or force that could possibly stop the result when all the causes and conditions are together. The same is true with regard to being happy. If all the causes and conditions for your being happy are together there, you will naturally be happy, and there is no force at all that can stop you from being happy and make you suffer. Likewise, if those causes and conditions are not there, if the causes and conditions are the wrong ones, then there is no force that can make you feel good. That is why the whole notion of cause and effect, or the law of karma, is so important in the dharma.

So, we must develop those causes and conditions that support the experience of the nature of mind without being too attached to the techniques or practices. This does not mean you don't learn how to do the practices precisely; you do learn them - very precisely. However, it's just like an old man who walks from one place to another with the help of a walking stick: His goal is to arrive at the new location, not simply to become attached to the walking stick, right? We also know that if the old man tries to walk there without the stick, for sure he will not reach his goal. Therefore, when walking to the new location he makes sure he has a firm grasp of the sturdy stick that supports him. Once he reaches his destination, the walking stick is no longer important to him. The practices, the techniques, are exactly like that. The methods are exactly like that. They never lose their potential to be of benefit when the need arises, but just don't get attached to them. Is that clear?

Thanks to Rick for posting this at http://bonreligion.tribe.net/

Imagine a Better World with a Friend

Video: IMAGINE



www.alexgrey.com

As of today, I have been sober for 7,015 days

... one day, one hour at a time. ;^D

Alcoholics Anonymous

Count the number of days that you have been sober.

Find an AA meeting in your area.

Say hello to my vegan friend Everett!

here's the link to Everett


Everett's blog


from Everett's blog: on the importance of refraining from negative emotions

The Heart Sutra

Prajnaparamita, the Goddess of Perfect Wisdom, and Mother of the Buddhas

The Heart Sutra

"The Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, while meditating on Prajnaparamita, shed light on the five skandhas (i.e., components of ego) and found them equally empty. After this penetration, he overcame all pain.

"Listen, Shariputra (a disciple of the Buddha), form is emptiness, emptiness is form; form does not differ from emptiness, emptiness does not differ from form. The same is true with feeling, perception, intention and consciousness.

"Hear, Shariputra, all dharmas (teachings) are marked with emptiness; they are neither produced nor destroyed, neither defiled nor immaculate, neither increasing nor decreasing. Therefore, in emptiness there is no form, feeling, intention, or consciousness; no eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, or mind; no forms, sounds, smell, tastes, touches, or mental objects; nor is there the realm of the eyes, up to and including the realm of mind consciousness. There is no ignorance or ending of ignorance; up to and including no decay and death or ending of decay and death. There is no suffering, no origination of suffering, no extinction of suffering, and no path; no knowledge and also no attainment.

"Because there is no attainment, the bodhisattvas, supported by the Prajnaparamita, find no obstacles for their minds. Having no obstacles, they overcome fear, liberating themselves forever from illusion and realising perfect Nirvana. All Buddhas in the past, present, and future, through reliance upon Prajnaparamita, arrive at full, right, and universal Enlightenment.

"Therefore, one should know that Prajnaparamita is a great spiritual mantra, a great wisdom mantra, a supreme mantra, an unequalled mantra. It destroys all suffering because it is the incorruptible truth. A mantra of Prajnaparamita should therefore be proclaimed. This is the mantra:

"GATE GATE PARAGATE PARASAMGATE BODHISVAHA."
pronounced as:
"gah-teh gah-teh, pah-ra-gah-teh, pah-ra-sum-gah-teh, boo-di so-ha"

What the world needs now / Is love, sweet love

LOVE

LA through the eyes of a Los Angeleno

Check out Faces of Sunset: A Portrait of Los Angeles, by LA photographer Patrick Ecclesine. He does a good job of capturing all the messy glory of Sunset Blvd.

I grant Patrick artistic license, but I don't like the fact that he didn't photograph Echo Park Lake, which is in my neighborhood, and is one of the prettiest and most special places in Los Angeles. Echo Park Lake is home to the largest lotus garden in the US. Contrary to the photographer, my neighborhood is not as shitty a place as his few photos makes it look. (Yes, I am a little hurt.)

Wikipedia has a good take on Echo Park.

LA through the eyes of a stranger

This picture is a bougainvillea umbrella in the ocean-facing garden at the "The Getty" museum in Brentwood.

Thanks to Amy in Las Vegas for these and other photos of Los Angeles, available at her web log, Unlikely in Vegas.